In an effort to buoy their flailing merchandise sales, the Kansas City Wizards announced today the forthcoming release of a new third shirt (pictured below).
Kansas City Wizards spokesperson Michelle Bridger explained, “We felt like we needed something new and fresh. Something that really says ‘Wizards.’ But, you know, without being super obvious about it.”
Explaining the team’s marketing plan for the new shirt, Bridger said, “Believe it or not, we have a lot of fans in the pacific northwest, and we expect this shirt to really resonate with them. So we are going to be selling it primarily in the Seattle-Tacoma region.”
According to Bridger, Wizards fans will be able to custom order whatever name and number they would like for the new shirt, but certain “common American names” like Zakuani and Montero will be available off the shelf.