Denver, Colorado – The Colorado Rapids are out to set the record straight. It seems most long-time area residents refuse to believe that they are in fact the defending MLS champions.
It seems the confusion began this January when are residents who had previously bought single-game tickets received direct mailings offering season ticket pages for “your defending champion Colorado Rapids.” Within days of sending out the mailers, the Rapids front office was flooded with phone calls.
“In the customer service center, all you could hear was people saying things ,’ ’Really,’ ‘Really,’ and ‘they gave us a trophy, and everything,’” reported a source within the organization, “They weren’t even calling to buy anything – they thought they were doing us a big favor by pointing out the ‘misprint.’”
General Executive Dictator Jeff Plush explained that he could barely get in a word edge-wise during a meeting with several local Youth Soccer directors before having to explain that they actually won the MLS cup: “As I began my presentation, they all raised their hands and it was always the same question. I told them that ‘we really, really won’ and they still clearly didn’t believe me. It totally derailed the meeting – I ended up having to have an intern fetch me the trophy just to prove it to them.”
Despite all of the phone calls and meetings, not everyone got the message. Newspapers throughout the region were ‘alerted’ by readers of the Rapids’ ‘false claims.’ In one editorial, James Barrows, a Community Relations Manager in North Denver, dismissed the claims as totally nonsensical: “Yeah right. We all fell for this with the Nuggets back in the nineties and we aren’t going to fall for it again! Everyone knows that Los Angeles are the MLS champions. They have Dave Beckham for God’s sake! From what I can tell, they’ve won every title since he signed that $500 million contract.”
The Rapids have their work cut out for them.
[contributed by Rory Miller, thanks Rory! For more by Rory, check out: www.tiny.cc/1nt1i]
